My question refers to a conflict I currently have with my wife. My wife left me 2.5 years ago, while we were traveling across Africa and it has been impossible to communicate with her ever since then:I have been unable to have a single conversation with her since she left me in Cape Town in Feb 2016 (after she fell in love with a 56-years old cassanova South African asshole).
 We married in Missoula in Jun 2010 and, although the first two yearss were complicated (she is very immature and we had frequent, stupid fights for irrelevant reasons, like she getting mad at me because I would suggest she rise the seat of her bicycle) we had build a very strong relationship (she cared for her marriage very much and was intelligent enough to realize there was no point in starting a fight for the first stupid reason). Everybody who knew or met us was impressed and inspired by how solid we were, how much we loved eachother. Right after our wedding I had to leave the country and we spent two years traveling all across Central America and Europe. Afterwards, we lived 2.5 wonderful years in Missoula. We both wanted to have children and build a family, but we thought, before settleing down we would do one last crazy adventure: we flew to Spain, where we bought a Land Rover with which to travel all across Africa, from Spain to South Africa. It was an amazing experience and (as everybody could witness) we were both very happy when we finally reached Cape Town, South Africa in Jan 2016. She liked to sing this song she had come up with when we were still in Spain preparing for our journey: "It's Monkey and Bunny and Robert, It's Monkey and Bunny and Robert, Off to see the world!!". Our life was like a remake of "Adventure Time", her favorite children TV show. It's just that we were Monkey and Bunny, as she suggested at the beginning of our 1-year long European trip. I was Monkey, she was the cute Bunny and Robert was our Land Rover across Africa.
In Cape Town we met a Land Rover mechanic (Gary) who told us he wanted to help us get our car all fixed up, equipped and ready for our way back North. However, we had to do the work, he was going to teach us what and how to do it and let us use his tools. Actually, my wife was going to do the work, since I am severely visually impaired. We could not imagine then, the man's real plan was to keep us around, so that he could have enough time to conquer my wife. After 4 weeks at Gary's workshop, one morning my wife got up and immediately left to disappear for the whole day. She only returned at sunset to tell me: "she was going to leave me because she was sick of dragging me around the supermarkets". She then asked me if I had something to say about it and, since I hadn't, she spent the rest of the evening crying. The next day, at dinner time, I told her I did not wanted to be a burden for her; she did not have to cook dinner for me, I would do it myself. She got angry and told me she was going to go stay with Gary and his wife from then on. I got shocked. She also started saying I should also take responsibility for my mistakes, because, if I thought I had not done anything wrong, I was as wrong as she was". The next day, when she came back to the workshop, I told her I thought we should talk. We drove to some beach,. I started by asking what it was that I had done wrong, but after 1-2 hours talking, she got mad  (when I started remembering the many fights she started for the most stupid reasons, at the beginning of our relationship) and drove away, leaving me stranded on that beach for the night. The next day, back in the workshop, I was told she had tried to commit suicide that evening at the workshop (I am not sure how serious she was about it, since she was alone when it happened and nobody could stop her). Gary never wanted a relationship with her, he only wanted to conquer a 30 year younger white, blond, blue-eyed "American chick, so in love with her pathetic blind husband". So, after one week, she flew back from Cape Town to  ontana.
All since then she has been pointing fingers at me and putting all the blame on me. According to her, she has always taking responsibility for her mistakes, but I never have. I am convinced she got messed up by that cassanova asshole (Gary). She made an horrible mistake trusting him and desperately falling in love with him and now is not being able to take responsibility for our marriage failure. Our marriage was of supreme importance to her and it hurts her very deeply to think she blew it up. It is more comforting to convince herself our marriage was horrible and nothing to mourn over. I believe her parents also helped her in that (they never liked me and hated we married. She is their only child and when we married, as she had just become 21, they felt I was stealing her baby). I have always thought her mother is obsessed with her. My wife's biological father separated from her mother, when she was a few months old. He took the baby (my wife) with him. According to the mother, he kidnapped her, but he only went to his parents and the mother never did anything to get her back. When my wife was 1.5 years old, he brought her back to his wife and shortly after commited suicide. The mother has tolg her so many times about that first night that she was back in the house after having been kidnapped. The mother thought she had missed the baby's first steps, the baby's first words, the baby's first tooth... That night she promised the baby: "never again. She would not miss anything again. Mother and daughter, they will be together forever". I believe my wife's mother has played a major part convincing her she has not done anything wrong: our marriage was horrible and she did the right thing when she put an end to it. I had been an asshole to her.
My wife has never admitted she left me because she was tricked and fell in love with that cassanova asshole. Instead she first blamed it on my disability, then on the fights we had (even when she admitted "she had played a big part in starting and exacerbating those fights"), later she has been saying I was using her as my servant, my chauffeur and I was being an asshole to her. However, I know the real reason why she left me was that she fell in love with that casanova asshole, because, some months ago, I found a love letter she wrote to him.
Few months after she had returned from Cape Town, she went to Alaska to start some exhausting, minimum-wage job she had found. In Alaska she met and immediately started a relationship with another man. They immediately wanted to marry, but they could not, since my wife has never wanted to file for divorce or file any paperwork otherwise. Those days I was contacted on Facebook by some woman: she told me my wife was living in Alaska with her partner. She explained he went to Alaska trying to recover from a strong crack-cocaine addiction, after he lost everything in Houston: his job, his family, etc. They both have three children in Houston. My wife indeed was feeling very lonely and depressed after returning from Cape Town. One day she posted on Facebook: "God, I really need somebody come with me hang out at my father's cabin in Rock Creek". My wife was a single child and has always struggled being alone. She needs a lot of love. Since she left me in Cape Town, I have always tried to work things out with her. I thought I should be intelligent and realize Iit would be stupid to give up a wonderful relationship, just because a minute of stupidity; just because she made a stupid mistake, (as a result of her immaturity), falling in love with that cassanova asshole. I have always felt she was the first victim of the horrible parenting she received from her mother. Her mother always allowed her to do whatever she wanted. When she was 11 she started smoking and doing drugs (pod, mushrooms, glue, etc.). When she was 14, she dropped out of school (not because she was a bad student; but because "at school they were all stupid and hated her and were teaching her only stupid stuff").  Her mother's basic parenting theory has always been her daughter is very intelligent, she always knows what she is doing, therefore we should all respect her decisions. As a matter of fact, she was intelligent enough to figure out all by herself (without her parents guidance), she was taking her life to a total disaster. So, at 16, she went back to school and started college. Then when she met me, she wanted very badly to succeed in our marriage and stopped smoking and doing any drups.  She worked hard  to be a good wife to me. After the initial struggles, we were doing very well. In our last months in Missoula, before taking off for our Africa adventure, I was working as a freelancer remotely, over the internet and making a fair amount of money. She did not have to worry for money and could work in whatever she wanted. Those last months she enjoyed creating, doing art and working as a seamstress. We could also choose where in the world we wanted to live. We were planning on settling down in Hawaii (since she loves the beach), after our African journey. We had it all and she gave it all up for a fancy. That is how immature she is. She fell in love with that cassanova asshole and could not think of anything else but to love him forever. When he explained he only wanted to be friends, she must have convinced herself she also only wanted to be friends. I think she must have also concluded, after she had betrayed me like that, our marriage was over: I would never be able to love her again. It seems to me it must have been like when somebody knocks off a very precious, ancient chinese Ming dinasty vase and it breaks down in thousand pieces: it would be possible to try to glue it back together, but it  would never be the same. At that point, instead of crying over the spilled milk for the rest of her life, it is better to start thinking that vase was a piece of crap and she has always hated it anyway.
I have never seen it that way and have always tried to work things out with her. Unfortunately, it has been completely impossible to explain my wife I wanted to forgive her for betraying me. Rather, she is mad at me as if I had done to her what she has actually done to me. She is convinced our marriage was horrible, I was an asshole to her and she did the right thing getting rid of me. In March 2017, she wrote an email to my mother (she had a very good relationship with her) explaining 5-15 reasons why she had left me. However, none of them were true at all. She was not making any mention she had fallen in love with Gary either. Myself, I spent 2017 in Cape Town, trying to prove her I was not pathetic and useless (as she had said) and did not need her as my chauffeur and servant to travel across Africa. Back then I still had not found the love letter she wrote to that cassanova asshole and was not completely aware of the true reasons why she had left me. However, during these last couple of years, my eye-sight has deteriorated abruptly as a result of the stress and depression she has put me in.  So, I gave up on my plans to continue traveling across Africa. I spent the second half of 2017 writing a very honest and emotional  email message to her, trying to explain it was not true our marriage had been awful, I had not been an asshole, she had just got messed up and we should try to work things out. She never replied; I do not think she read it. In October 2017 she sent me a short email complaining I had written and published on our travel blog a "sad story" about the many problems I had gone through in Cape Town (I got attacked and assaulted several times. She had taken control of the blog and unpublished the story, as if it would hurt her to read it. I became hopeful deep inside she still kept her feelings for me. I thought I might be able to wake her up with my email. Unfortunately, it did not happen.
Beginning of 2018, I returned to the US. I went to New York because I needed to do something about my eyes. I needed to have surgery because I had become basically blind. My mother told my wife about my sufferings, but she remained totally indiferent. and never wanted to express any concern. She has not wanted to talk to me. I finally had my first eye surgery last September and now had a few weeks until my next post-surgery, follow-up appointment. So I decided to come to Missoula to finally see her again for the first time since she left me in Cape Town in Feb 2016. One week ago, I went to our old house. I knocked on the door. She opened it, saw me and (without a word being spoken by her or by me) she mmediately closed it again and locked it up.. Then, her current lover (cecilio, the father of the three children in Houston), came from behind the house and told me to leave. Since I insisted I wanted to talk to my wife, he eventually pushed me and throwed me away. Then, they called the police on me. The police told me I was not allowed back there. However, all my stuff is still in that house and me and my wife need to discuss things, even if it is just our divorce (not only in the US, but also in Spain and Switzerland).
I feel like I would be able to solve all this problem, if I would be able to communicate with my wife. However that seems to be completely beyond my posibilities. I have contacted a few mediation services, but I have been told she needs to request mediation as well. Clearly, it seems impossible to convince her to do so. I am being told my only option is to file for divorce.
My Questions:
- Is there anyway I would be allowed to access my stuff in our old house (the house belongs to my mother-in-law)? If so, what would I need to do?
- My wife has been a total asshole to me since she left me. She has been psychologically abusing me: she blamed me for her attempt of suicide. She said I was useless and pathetic She insisted I was using her as my servant and chauffeur and had been an asshole to her. She put me in a state of depression that caused the abrupt loss of eye-sight I have suffered this last two years.  Would it be possible to sue her for psychologically abusing me, without having to file for divorce? I would like her to realize, if she insists in being an asshole to me, it will have harsh consequences on her. Maybe, that way, she will accept communicating with me.

- If I file for divorce, could I do it in New York, where I have been living and receiving medical treatment these last months? We married in Missoula, but since we were living in my mother-in-law's house, now that my wife left me and is living there with her new lover, I do no longer have a stable place to stay in Missoula.. I am currently staying with friends near Arlee. I will also need to have some mor eye surgeries and I will not be able to have them done in Montana.
- If  I file for divorce, under what conditions would I be able to request and receive alimony? My wife's current lover is not paying the child support he owes, because he is making money off the books (they are even living on Schedule A public housing, although they are living at my wife's mother's house and are therefore not really paying any rent!). If I am granted alimony, to what extend would it be possible for her avoid paying it? I would like her to realize, if she insists in being an asshole to me, it will have harsh consequences on her. Maybe, that way, she will accept communicating with me.
- if I file for divorce and we do not reach an agreement, would we eventually have to battle in a courtroom?
- I have thought of possible ways I could get her out of her denial. I have considered trying to talk to some of her friends (or even neighbors) to have them speak and reason with her. Could that eventually be taken as harassment and be used against me?

Africa Travel Guide - Namibia - General information

/Namibia

No visa is required for most passports.

Upon entry to Namibia, payment of a road fund is required:

Road Fund: 242 Namibian Dollars

Africa Travel Guide - Namibia - Etosha National Park

Etosha National Park

80 Namibian Dollars per person, 10 Namibian Dollars per car

Safaris:
Day Tours: 500 Namibian Dollars per person for a 3 hours guided tour on park's vehicles
Night Tours: 500  Namibian Dollars per person for a 3 hours guided tour on park's vehicles

Camping: 200 Namibian Dollars per campsite + 146 Namibian Dollars per person

Etosha National Park was without a doubt one of the highlights of our journey through Africa. We really had a blast in Etosha and will forever remember the two days we spent there among the very best days of our travels. It was very exciting visiting the park, we saw many wild animals we had not seen before. The park authorities and personnel were very friendly and made us feel really comfortable. They did not put any stress to our visit setting an endless number of ridiculous rules and restrictions. This is quite remarkable considering the unique experience the park offers. Moreover, the park's fees are very affordable and reasonable, what allowed us to take our time and fully enjoy the park.